a conclusion: you know you're in india when...

you know you're in india when...


• there are more cows that people in the streets. and the cows always have the right of way.

• there are more unsubtle, paparazzi-like pictures taken of your whiteness every day than the ones of paris, mary kate and miley combined.

• every shop owner is your 'friend' and each friend's product is the 'best quality in town.'

• recycling becomes a distant memory. and the sidewalk becomes your trash can.

• a filling meal for two, with cold beer and fresh rice, costs under five US dollars.

• your usual alcoholic nightcap is replaced with mango juice. and your morning coffee with masala chai.

• monkeys turn from cuddly creatures to annoying pests.

• you're too nervous to brush your teeth with anything but bottled water.

• every american standard of child safety is ignored.

• you shower with a bucket of warm water.

• you cross your fingers as you enter bathrooms, hoping for a western toilet, as you are sick and tired of squatting over holes in the ground.

• weekly beard trims become weekly facials become the best way to spend twenty five cents.

• showing your knees is worse than showing your cleavage.

• you eat, drink, socialize, do most things, really, on the floor. 

• if you don't barter, you don't get respect.

• you want to adopt each and every dog you see.

• you sing harder, dance harder, eat harder, breathe harder, love harder, than you have anywhere else in the world.