2. Slowly sprinkle in a mix of International Young Adults.* Try one part South African, one part British, one part US solider stationed in Germany, two parts Nova Scotian, and two parts Oregonian for a particularly sweet batch.
*Can be substituted with oiler up, speedo-clad Grecian body builders with an affinity for backgammon and/or paddle ball.
3. Stir well.
4. Whip up a marinade of Coppertone, green bottled Greek beer, extra virgin olive oil, strawberry scented shampoo, and ouzo.
5. Paint base mixture with excess amounts of marinade and leave it, enclosed in a two sleeper beach bungalow of white concrete, to simmer in high heat for six nights. NOTE: Biter ants may infest said bungalow. Ingestion of copious amounts of cheap red wine will help exterminate. Or, at least, help in the ignorance of most.
6. After six nights, remove mixture from bungalow oven. It should be sweating a rich brown bronzed color. (The optional addition of chopped red tomatoes, pitted black olives, and feta cheese cubes to be combined here.) Roll flat into a thick patty and separate into individual sized servings. Tip: Use sea creature shaped cut outs for extra flair.
7. Smoke patties with the exhaust of a rented red Four Wheeler. Drizzle with baby goat saliva - plentiful in the rolling hills of the Greek Isles.
8. Top with a dollop of spicy tzatziki. Serve, hot, in an Australian themed bar in the center of town, frequented by vacationing midwestern sorority girls and beefy brown Greek men in combat boots.
Best when accompanied by "pink" flavored ouzo and shared on an empty dance floor with 50 Cent playing.
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